FIFTY



Just possibly the best we will become.
A notable change of mind's future.
Some connections more tender, bodily connections.
Other connection's. Apprearances. Less.

Touching her skin in bed,
its softness so wonderous.
Naked now more beauty than
I in youth noticed or cared.

Up early,
slowly at first-joints soreness
dispelled in repeat motion.
Valuing our shell more, our frame.

A time of tenuous jobs, each day
a gift to the college fund.
She and I working in ways we've come
to value, with more time in them.

A friend shocked and catapulted
into age. Layed off! Twenty-five years of
dedicated service. 'Hi, I'm Larry.
I'm 50. I want to work; still.'

Still.
The sound between jobs. Very much
at the source of things.
Still.

Half a year, half a life
What difference. Indifference.
Hard asking once again what to do?

Then the log jam breaks
all at work once more, like old times?
Joined in the joyous frenzy.
Transfusion of life bloods.

A wisdom, a steadiness of rudder
in the wash of worries that work is.
Leverage. Years as the fulcrum.
Though change in many ways is what is of value.

Change especially now.
Change which having snuck up
Must finally be admitted.
And, where there has been too little. That too.

Memories make up half of life.
Simultaneous need for honoring the good
and the shame in us. And
not to be overcome by them;

Change forging new pieces.
Letting go and repossessing.
Holding and abandoning
Large bites of life past, a bite of now.

Grown children remind us;
the beginnings of adulthood.
Bringing new light to places and
feelings now seen again for me.

Farming relationships,
important beyond accomplishment.
Someone wanting the company of me.
Even now I, in the mirror, wonder at that.

GF 94